Life comes at you fast, and we all will face challenges. The loss of a loved one. Termination of a job. A crumbling relationship. Even a friendship gone sour, that you used to cherish.
It’s okay to cry. It’s natural. Our bodies (yes, even male bodies) are made for it. It releases cortisol, the stress hormone, from our body, and it creates oxytocin and endorphins to make us feel happier and more secure.
And — this shouldn’t be overlooked — it signals others that we are in pain and need their empathy and support. All of us, even men, are social creatures. None of us go through life truly alone. Being vulnerable and showing pain, sadness, fear — that leads to stronger, more durable relationships.
I think many men see themselves as mountains: strong, hard, unyielding. There’s a safety to being untouchable. Pretending that no one can hurt you. But the reality is, mountains are constantly being eroded by natural forces. Roots digging into you. Water washing you away. Erosion takes its effect.
No matter how much we try to deny it, no one is untouchable. It’s an impossibility. To be a mountain is to slowly be chipped away at, with no means to put yourself back together.
I would argue that it is better to be the forest. Burn it down; it will grow back. It can be cut down, but it always returns, in time, as vibrant and alive as it ever was. And while it’s true that valuable things can be found in mountains, where would humanity be without wood? Wood that can build solid homes for our families, or be shaped into tools that improve our daily lives. Toys for our children.
A forest is strong, but it’s also alive. Filled with living things, providing them homes and shade and privacy, but also benefitting from them as well. Pollination. Spreading seeds so the forest can grow, and expand, and become even greater than it ever was. No one has ever called a mountain “healthy”.
A forest is a provider. A forest is durable. A forest can grow. These are strengths that a man should strive to incorporate, to model to others, and to be. They are not weaknesses.
And every forest needs water. Let your tears water your forest, nourish the trees and life within, and wash that mountain away. Life and growth will spring from that water, and you will become healthier from it.
Forest photo by Chris Taylor.
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