Rejection hurts

It doesn’t matter if it’s a job you want, a potential partner you’re excited about, or a partner that you’ve been with for a long time. It always stings. There’s no way around it.

Ultimately, it’s because you offered up yourself and they found you… wanting. Not good enough. And being faced with that can really make you question your own value. Especially if it happens often.

At the end of the day, though, you have to remember that no one owes you anything. Not friendship. Not love. Not sex. Everyone has their own autonomy to choose, and if they don’t choose you, you have to learn to accept that.

Maybe it’s not a good fit. Maybe they were looking for something that you just aren’t. Maybe you just don’t make them happy anymore. And sometimes we have to really deeply look at ourselves and say “what am I lacking? What can I do to improve myself for the future?” We can’t expect people to love us if we are not lovable.

We are the only things we have control over. No one is coming to save us. If we are the problem, we have to fix it, if we can.


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About the author

The author is a 50 year old caucasian CIS heterosexual man. He’s lived on both coasts of the United States for several decades and now lives in Europe. He has been married three times: widowed once, divorced twice. He has five kids, all male, ranging from age 30 to age 12.

He is thoroughly committed to being a feminist and LGBTQIA+ ally. He believes that the similarities within us all far outweigh the differences in our skin and bodies.