Gratitude

I’ve been struggling lately with some aspects of my life. One of the friends I discussed it with gave me some solid advice, which I will paraphrase: stop focusing on what I don’t have yet, and recognize what I do have instead.

So I think I will try to do just that:

I am grateful for my amazing partner and best friend, who are both the same person. Tonight, we turned off the lights but couldn’t stop giggling like schoolchildren having a sleepover. This is exactly the kind of energy I need right now

I’m grateful for my other best friends, who have been along for the roller coaster ride of my last few years. Some have similar experiences, others don’t — but they’ve always been there for me when I needed someone to listen.

I’m grateful for old friends who have re-entered my life. They knew me when I was half the person I am now (in maturity and quality), and can offer a different perspective on my life. It’s lovely to know that some bonds can stand the test of time and distance.

I’m grateful for new friends that have come into my life. I’m enjoying learning about them and, in some cases, sharing the lessons learned from my own history.

I’m always grateful for my children, who have literally given me the inspiration to stay alive through some of my troubles. They may aggravate me sometimes, but I cherish each and every one of them and couldn’t imagine my life without them. I’m so excited to see how their lives will grow and develop.

I’m grateful for the closure I got in 2024 for my sexual abuse and for my third marriage. Both were a long time coming.

I’m grateful for myself. Grateful that the scared little kid I was has survived to grow into the person I am today. I’m grateful to the choices I made to live, to love, and (mostly) to not hurt myself or others.

I’m grateful for my new lease on life, and for the years to come. I don’t know how many I have left, but I know I will do my best to enjoy them.

And finally, at least for this list, I’m grateful that I still have the opportunity to develop, learn more about myself, and heal. It cannot happen quickly enough for my tastes, but it’s happening. To misquote Billy Crystal in When Harry Met Sally, “When you decide who you want to be for the rest of your life, you want the rest of your life to start right away.”