Fuck Wolfgang.

Wolfgang is the name my partner gave to that little voice in the back of my head that always telling me lies. You know, that little asshole who likes to catastrophize and tell us people are talking to us behind our backs or that no one likes us.

My Wolfgang has been especially loud in 2025. Relationship insecurity tends to be like blood in the water for him. And oh, the stories he has to tell…

If I believed him, I’d have to believe my partner is laughing at me and talking about me behind my back. That they never loved me, despite all of the evidence to the contrary. That my relationship was doomed, that it was only a matter of time, and I’d really be better off if I left them before they left me.

I started back on antidepressants recently, and that has helped. But shutting him up entirely? That would probably take an act of Congress, and do you think they are capable of agreeing on ANYTHING right now? So there’s no help to expect from that quarter.

Rereading my affirmations of what I know to be true about myself helps. Chatting with friends who truly value me helps.

But ultimately, I know the only thing I can do is to just stop listening to him altogether. That’s what I’m trying to do now. Please wish me luck (or some mental earplugs).


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About the author

The author is a 50 year old caucasian CIS heterosexual man. He’s lived on both coasts of the United States for several decades and now lives in Europe. He has been married three times: widowed once, divorced twice. He has five kids, all male, ranging from age 30 to age 12.

He is thoroughly committed to being a feminist and LGBTQIA+ ally. He believes that the similarities within us all far outweigh the differences in our skin and bodies.